IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #visit
In recent years,there has been
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 increase in
people
 travelling to
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 inhabitable and hostile
places
.A chunk of
individuals
 opines that
people
people
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
visit these
places
 in search of unique experience whilst others are sceptical about it.There are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
 trend and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with,
primary
Add an article
the primary
show examples
 reason for
individuals
 to visit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a mobile
Correct the article-noun agreement
mobile places
a mobile place
show examples
places
if
Add a missing verb
is if
show examples
 that helps them to boost their confidence. After the completion of
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
 journey, the exhilaration cannot describe in more words. It
is need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to test one’s limit.
For instance
sailor
Fix the agreement mistake
sailors
show examples
 like Columbus, sale around the world to discover and connect Unkown lands.
Moreover
, tourism is growing leaps and bounds that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to boost the economy of the particular country.
For instance
 the more tourist arriving in the country
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 more jobs opportunities created for
people
 as consequences the countries economy grow many folds.
On the other hand
,
thrill
Correct article usage
the thrill
show examples
 to take unprecedented risks sometimes turn into
extremely
Add an article
an extremely
the extremely
show examples
 dangerous situation. While completing
daring
Add an article
the daring
a daring
show examples
 journey, many
individuals
 died and some of them got
Add an article
an injury
show examples
injury
Fix the agreement mistake
injuries
show examples
 that made them immobile for their whole life.
For instance
, there are hundreds of
individuals
 that cannot tolerate the severe conditions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mount Everest while climbing and died.
Moreover
, there is already
scarcity
Add an article
a scarcity
show examples
 of essential resources
such
 as water in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote areas.
Hence
, many
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 visiting turn
this
 situation
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worse. To conclude, in my opinion,
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
show examples
 effect of visiting dangerous
places
 outweigh the negative
expects
Change the verb form
expect
show examples
 as it will not only boost individual confidence but
also
 brings prosperity to
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 country.
Submitted by jotjeet9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: