IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious one and suggest ways to tackle this problem.

#overpopulation #areas #two
. Answer: overpopulation is a global threat and has always been a challenge in
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
 of a country. Even urbanization in which people migrate from village to city is quite debatable
as well as
 controversial. It is
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 development which causes
imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
show examples
 in
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
myriad
Add an article
a myriad
show examples
 of reasons which can be discussed as problematic issues in relation to urbanization. The first and foremost is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 causes
Add an article
a
the
show examples
shortage of resources as overpopulation creates
imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
show examples
 in available resources. Shortage of land, water, traffic jams and pollution all are related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
over-population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
 in urban
areas
. Unemployment and poverty
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 increased
due to
 over-population. Explaining
further
, it is very important to have a solution towards
Correct article usage
the
show examples
imbalance of
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 population. Rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 should be equally developed. Facilities like education,
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 and transport should be available in rural
areas
 so that people do not migrate and cause problems in urban
areas
. To recapitulate, the progress of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 develops when rural
areas
 provide enough opportunities and facilities to the people.
As well as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they feel comfortable living in rural
areas
. Villages should be
well- connected
Correct your spelling
well-connected
show examples
 with cities.
Submitted by sunnyjat122 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: