Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people claim that it is more pleasurable and comfortable to watch a
live
event
on
TV
.
While
I tend to agree with that idea, I would say that to be a part of one of those events is the best experience in one’s life. On the one hand, many reasons follow the idea that watching a
live
broadcast
event
on
TV
is more enjoyable. There are many people
said
Correct pronoun usage
who said
show examples
that it is very annoying to book
tickets
to the
event
and they have to spend much time driving to where the
event
is held.
Also
, the cost of staying at home and watching the
event
with some snacks
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
far cheaper than the cost of buying
tickets
and driving to the
event
’s site. And the snack’s price is
also
higher than those in a grocery store.
For instance
, the
Olympics
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympic
show examples
Games is an international sports
event
that takes place every four years, and each time it occurs in a country that the host picked.
Therefore
, to attend on
this
occasion, we have to spend a lot of dollars on booking
tickets
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
the games and
also
plane
tickets
if it is too far from your country.
On the other hand
, the one who finds watching a
live
performance on
TV
more exciting
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
lack of sense of participation. The first point is that the atmosphere at the stadium is very exciting and amusing, much more than the atmosphere when we
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
at home. At home, we cannot feel happiness or sadness directly with hundreds of people surrounding us. The second point is that enjoying a
live
performance is not just to watch a play or a match but is to participate in a crowd and
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
the emotions of a thrilled throng.
For example
, when watching a football match at a stadium, we could share the happiness with the next-sit friends with a goal. In conclusion,
while
it is comfortable and convenient when
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
a
live
performance on
TV
, we cannot deny many feelings that watching directly brings us.
Submitted by thanhannguyen2209 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and strengthen your essay.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed and provide a clear view of your stance on the topic.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive experience
  • replicated
  • energy
  • atmosphere
  • sense of community
  • shared excitement
  • unforgettable
  • predictable
  • convenience
  • comfort
  • crowds
  • travel
  • multiple camera angles
  • close-ups
  • replays
  • enhancing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: