Children weight are increasing over the years. What are the reasons? What can be done?

It is true that an increasing number of kids are getting overweight these years. There are various reasons leading to
this
problem but steps can definitely be taken to tackle it. Several factors result in youth's obesity.
Firstly
, children are having more and more academic work than that in the past,
casuing
Correct your spelling
causing
they could only spend less time doing sports.
For example
, I remembered when I was a child in elementary school I lost the balance between work and sport and spent much more time sitting in front of the desk to finish my overload homework so that I was
easily
Replace the word
easy
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get fat.
Secondly
, parents care so much about
nurtrition
Correct your spelling
nutrition
that children may sometimes take in them more than they should have. They hope their kids could be stronger and taller and the useful way to
it
Add a missing verb
do it
show examples
is to make their little ones eat
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
kinds of
nurtrition
Correct your spelling
nutrition
nutritional
products.
Finally
, intense exposure to junk food may
also
be an aspect as too much fat and unhealthy oil contained in junk food, doing harm to adolescent's body. In my opinion, many measures can be taken to address the issue. The government should call for
Add an article
the school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
to have more sports and after-school activities for students. It could even be added
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
school rules or regulations.
Furthermore
, doctors and physicians should promote the right way of youth's healthcare by giving parents lectures, instructions or guidebooks related to the
relvant
Correct your spelling
relevant
topics.
Last
but not the least, parents need
control
Fix the infinitive
to control
show examples
their kids' pocket money and teach them to stay away from unhealthy food. In conclusion, there are many methods
relieving
Change the verb form
to relieve
show examples
the situation and
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
are likely to be away from
obesity
Correct article usage
the obesity
show examples
problem.
Submitted by kev4313 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: