Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Some people contend that accepting an inadequate circumstance is an advisable approach,
whereas
others and I believe that trying to improve may be a suitable measure because this
would be more likely to receive a better quality of life.
To begin
with, accepting a detrimental situation might be acceptable for individuals, especially for social freshmen. This
ensures that they can develop their career into more stable. For instance
, many graduates sacrifice such
as convenient public transportation, larger accommodations, and other positive factors to cover their daily expenses as they do not have sufficient income. Therefore
, this
is why some public will choose certain poor circumstances, and insufficient wages is a typical example. However
, consistently following
this
trend, people could have a higher likelihood of becoming "gobline mode", which means a type of behaviour which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations.
Consequently
, some opponents and I regard improving various detriments as a more reasonable method. At the same time, this
may be more likely to assist humans in becoming prominent. For example
, extraordinary creators such
as Shuji Nalamura, a Japanese professor who created Blue LED and won the Nobel Physics Pilze in 2014, while
he could not receive adequate financial resources to support his experiments and other daily expenses initially
, his perseverance helped him successfully create Blue LED and order massive income. Furthermore
, Nakamura also
established an international development of Blue LED, eventually leading most countries to utilize this
cutting-edge technology.
In conclusion, accepting some drawbacks of living is indeed a reasonable measure, particularly for social freshmen and graduates. Nevertheless
, I firmly believe that trying to improve and consistently persevering can help humans obtain a better quality of life.Submitted by daniellin0717 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each main idea is fully explained and supported with relevant examples and details. Avoid abrupt jumps between ideas without proper transitions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a consistent tone and avoid the use of overly casual phrases or expressions which may seem out of place in a formal essay, such as 'goblin mode'.
Task Achievement
Focus on clearly presenting your opinion in the conclusion and make sure that it ties back to the main points discussed in the essay.
Task Achievement
Expand the discussion on counterarguments to make a more balanced and well-rounded response.
Task Achievement
Double-check for grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures to improve the clarity of the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear position and discusses both viewpoints, giving a balanced perspective on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction sets a clear context for the discussion, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the writer’s viewpoint.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the story of Shuji Nakamura, adds depth and relevance to the arguments presented.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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