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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer.

#products #machine #items #time #hand #buyer
In today modern world, the production of the majority of
products
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 left in the hands of robots and machinery, whereas only a small portion of
items
 are hand-crafted.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 the perspective of a purchaser, I believe that a majority of my
items
 would be made in
factories
, while only a small number of handmade
products
 will be bought.
This
 essay aims to underline the reasoning for my opinion and to give some examples. The most prioritized aspect when buying anything in today world is cost, which contributes to large-scale productions of simple
products
 being profitable. Due to the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of scale, more
items
 manufactured in
factories
 corresponds with
lower
Add an article
a lower
the lower
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 for customers at the end.
Therefore
, a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
products
 purchased nowadays are made by machinery.
Furthermore
, the
abundancy
Correct your spelling
abundance
show examples
 of said
items
 can help
people
 across multiple nations.
For example
, because the production of
utensil
Fix the agreement mistake
utensils
show examples
 is simple and cost-efficient, the same set of dining pieces can be found in stores in many countries.
Conversely
,
people
 buy handcrafted
items
 due to various reasons
such
 as decorative purposes and gifts for others. The matter of beauty in a house is viewed as essential to some individuals, which has encouraged them to look for unique pieces of furniture that can improve their living habitat.
Consequently
, artisans and craftsmen
are seek
Change the verb form
seek
show examples
 to create unique
items
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 filled with their creativity. For illustration, for a country like America, craftsmanship is still valued in
such
capitalistic
Correct article usage
a capitalistic
show examples
 world, and
people
 are still buying handmade
items
such
 as tables and furniture pieces that are significantly more expensive than the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 produced in
factories
.
Moreover
, the quality of some handcrafted
products
 can be considered superior
than
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 that of many automatically assembled
items
. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 may choose to side differently, I believe that a majority of
products
 purchased would be made in
factories
 while only a minority will be
hand crafted
Correct your spelling
handcrafted
show examples
.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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