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Band 4.5

Many people work long hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
In modern society nowadays, the majority of workers spend a lot of
time
 working
everyday
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every day
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 and just a little
time
 for spare-
time
 activities.
Although
this
 has several advantages, the drawbacks may be
more far
Replace the words
farther
show examples
 significant. On the one hand, there can be some minor benefits of working long-
time
. One possible advantage is that
people
 have more
time
 to work and solve problems in their jobs immediately. especially some jobs need
people
work
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to work
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 constantly
such
 as sale assistants,
wokers
Correct your spelling
workers
, official staff and so on. In manufacture working extended hours can produce more products and that provide
Add an article
the worker
a worker
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 with opportunities to earn more money.
Nevertheless
, the fact that working long hours can have major downsides which overshadow these positive impacts. The most obvious issue could be that
people
 will
suffered
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suffer
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 stress-related health problems
such
 as
headache
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headaches
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 and
other dangerous disease
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another dangerous disease
other dangerous diseases
show examples
. Another drawback worth mentioning is that
people
 will spend less
time
 on leisure activities lead to the fact that they will be more
stressful
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stressed
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 and uncomfortable.
this
 can lead to their productivity will be decrease and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
innovative
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innovation
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 in their works.
furthermore
, there
is
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are
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 adverse impacts on society and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
People
 just focus on working without doing some activities for relaxing like shopping, eating,
traveling
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travelling
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 so the
economic
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economy
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 will go down. the number of unemployed
people
 will increase and lead to many crimes. In conclusion, despite the potential benefits of working long hours, they pale in comparison to the drawbacks involved.
thus
, we should keep a balance between work and relax to ensure that we have
a
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apply
show examples
good health for working.
Submitted by ngochai4354 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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