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Band 4.5

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as smartphones, are making people less socially active. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #inventions #smartphones
In
this
 technological era,various advancements are being made.
Most
Correct article usage
The most
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 popular of them are innovations in mobile phones and various types of apps which multitude are using .Some
people
 opine that
invention
Correct article usage
the invention
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 of mobile phones has made
people
 less
social
Change the adjective
socially
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 active. I am at logger
heds
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heads
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 with the statement and I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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aspects in the upcoming paragraphs before arriving
to
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at
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relevant
Add an article
a relevant
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 conclusion. The very
first
 argument which
surround
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surrounds
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 my opinion to be considered is advancements in technology made us indulged in our own businesses .Due to various apps and features individuals just scrolling all over.
people
 just wanted to be with their phone and wanted to
forgot
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forget
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 all the world. Coming to another aspect which is it has made persons more socially active .Due to advancements in mobile technology
people
 are more socially connected through apps like Snapchat,Facebook ,Instagram etc.Now
people
 are more socially connected to their loved ones
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 they are living in
different
Add an article
a different
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 state or
different
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a different
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 country.They can easily contact them using these popular social sites .
Also
 by phones individuals are more connected to their role models or their favourite celebrities.
In addition
 to
this
 ,in terms of academics students are accessing information in a very convenient manner through these
phone
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phones
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 and social websites. Information from all the corners of the world
are
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is
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 reaching
to
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apply
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every juvillien and learner.In terms of entertainment movies and
Correct your spelling
everything
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every thing
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everything
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 which is made for entertainment purposes is reaching worldwide due to these mobiles. To sum up,saying that mobiles have made
people
 socially less active is not appropriate
instead
 it made individuals
to
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apply
show examples
connect to
this
 global village
Submitted by Arun Kumar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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