IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

many countries spend too much money on training of a few individuals for international sports competition. Some people believe that government should spend more in ordinary people instead. Do you agree r disagree? give your opinion and example

#countries #money #individuals #sports #competition #people #government #r
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A majority of countries are allocating their financial resources to training their
athletes
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 for international
sports
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events
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. Some
people
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 think that the
government
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 should utilize these resources on normal
people
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 to improve their quality of life. I firmly believe that governments are allocating monetary resources to bring out the best
athletes
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 from the poorer sections of society which is an efficient method of uplifting poverty.
First
Linking Words
 of all, a competitive spirit brings out the best in a person. Many talented sportspersons in various remote areas of the world have achieved success due to their participation in global
sports
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events
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. To cite an example, Jamaican athlete Usain Bolt labelled as the fastest Human in the world broke many records when he participated in the Olympics.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 was possible only when his country allocated sufficient funds in training him for sporting
events
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. The training of an athlete at a competition is not an easy feat as they require a proper coach, dietician and a physiotherapist which cannot be affordable for
athletes
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 from weaker sections.
This
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 might lead to an unfair advantage in
sports
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 only if the privileged are entitled to participate.
Hence
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 the governments should play a role in bringing underprivileged
athletes
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 to international platforms by sponsoring them with adequate financial aid. Having said that the
government
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 can
also
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 help ordinary
people
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 by training their retired star
athletes
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 as coaches who may aid them to participate in sporting
events
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.
For instance
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, the international boxing champion May Kom has now established several boxing training academies in her state for training the underprivileged in the sport of boxing.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
government
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 can utilize the knowledge and expertise of veteran
athletes
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 to popularize
sports
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 and bring
people
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 out of poverty. In my view, financial contribution from the
government
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 is essential to bring forth talented
athletes
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 who desire to take part in international
events
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 to achieve and focus on
sports
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 as a career.
Submitted by maheshhandsomehunk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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