IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. What problems are caused by international tourism? Solutions to change negative attitudes?

Whether
tourism
Use synonyms
 is harmful or beneficial has remained a perennial debate.
Although
Linking Words
 it generates numerous job opportunities, it cannot justify the damage it causes to the native environment.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, a plan for the sustainable development of
tourism
Use synonyms
 should be established.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the advent of
tourism
Use synonyms
 in a particular area creates
myriads
Fix the agreement mistake
myriad
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
occupations. Residents would assist travellers in registration, occupation, and transportation, gradually
formed as
Wrong verb form
forming
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 new
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
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 and enterprises.
As a result
Linking Words
, people in impoverished locations can make ends meet and profit from
tourism
Use synonyms
 expenses, aiding them
to escape
Change preposition
in escaping
show examples
 poverty.
In addition
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 way, as career choices are expanded, unemployment is alleviated.
For instance
Linking Words
, an increasing number of graduates apply for jobs, including travel assistants, patrol managers, etc. Beneficial as it is, flourishing
tourism
Use synonyms
 is responsible for nature deterioration.
This
Linking Words
 scenario is because of a lack of awareness in most people. Put differently, they would be likely to spoil the surfaces and artefacts in tourist attractions, leaving the landscape scenery
worsened
Replace the word
worse
show examples
. Numerous temples have been reported to bear several marks and stains left on the fences and surfaces.
In addition
Linking Words
, as the global environment is affected, wild animal species are equally threatened since their habitats are likely to be ruined, causing alterations in the ecosystem in the area. Considering the statements above, policies should be applied to reduce the repercussions of
tourism
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 maintaining economic growth. Rigorous regulations should be included to prevent illegal acts of littering and marking to keep everything intact. A
sanitization
Change the spelling
sanitisation
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 schedule is
also
Linking Words
 recommended to keep the places from erosion and dirt. In conclusion, the tourist can
revitalize
Change the spelling
revitalise
show examples
 a region’s economy but is equally a bane to the environment, which reasonable measures can purge.

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task response
Your plan fits the task. Add more clear steps to show how to fix the problem.
style
Use short and clear lines. Break long ideas into small parts.
structure
Put the main idea first. Then add more ideas. End with a clear closing.
coherence
Link ideas with easy glue words like also, but, for example, and finally.
content
Shows both sides of the issue.
structure
Has an intro and a conclusion.
content
Gives some clear examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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