IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. Reason for this? Some solutions.

#levels #youth #crime #cities #world #reason
The graph illustrates details about changes in the
birth
 and
death
 rates in New Zealand in the
period
 of 200 years . It's clear that at the beginning of the
period
death
rate
 outweigh the
birth
rate
 and both axes start to grow until 2041 after that they reach the same point,
however
, in the
next
 50 years , the
birth
rate
 has a marked decline so at the end of the
period
 we can see there are more deaths than births. There was a magnificent rose in
death
rate
also
, the
birth
rate
 had a steady growth Between 1921 and 1961
further
, in the
next
 20 years
birth
rate
 has experienced a
period
 of volatility but
death
 estimate had a different path and keep rising till reaching the same point off
birth
Add an article
the birth
show examples
 estimate in 2041. Overall, these opposing trends mean that the
death
rate
 overtake the
birth
rate
 around 2041 and there is a large gap between the two levels in 2101.
Submitted by hesam.masoud.ielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: