IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports even though others claim they should have the freedom to choose a sport to their liking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #sport #support
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There is no doubt that
sport
Use synonyms
 plays important role in society because it both provides hobbies and good lives. In fact, some categories of extreme
sports
Use synonyms
 are dangerous
such
Linking Words
 as ice skis, so many individuals believe that they should be prohibited.
Therefore
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, several
people
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 argue that it is
people
Use synonyms
's right whether choosing their favourite
sports
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 or not. From my perspective, I totally agree that extreme
sports
Use synonyms
 should not be banned due to the fact that it is not hazardous as they believe if we concern about
safety
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. Ice ski is a
sport
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 famous in Japan, especially in Hokkaido, because there are 4 months long winter and tunning views, so the popularity of
this
Linking Words
sport
Use synonyms
 rises dramatically every year. Indeed, not only Japanese
people
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 enjoy ski in the snow but
also
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 tourists. Beforehand, there was a sorrowful accident because of the snowstorm,
people
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 died and disappear a lot. "We can not forecast whether it will be 100% safe, so
people
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 are at high risk", said ,critics.
Consequently
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, there are some
people
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 against
this
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 kind of
sport
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.
However
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, before doing something, we must learn how to do it before.
Similarly
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, beginners must study the basic lessons before play. Based on the information that I have read,
safety
Use synonyms
first
Linking Words
 is the most fundamental thing for every
sport
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. Basketball is
also
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 a risk if we do not concern about
safety
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. Significantly, all ski players must follow the
safety
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 instructions
such
Linking Words
 as wearing helmets.
Moreover
Linking Words
, before going to the skating area, there are pro trainers who teach you how to balance yourself effortlessly available.
Also
Linking Words
, if the situation seems terrible
such
Linking Words
 as a strong wind, the staff will have
announcement
Add an article
an announcement
the announcement
show examples
 that everyone has to stop and come to the station rapidly. To summarise, extreme
sports
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 should not be prohibited because it is our
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to choose what we favour. In fact, not only extreme
sports
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 , basketball is dangerous as well if the players do not follow the
safety
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 guidelines.
Safety
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 is the most crucial thing.
Submitted by buildtobuilt on

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