IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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Studying in private schools became a new trend in
21-st
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the 21-st
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 century. It is obvious, that
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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 system has been improved, but some aspects have not changed over time, as taxes for state education. For some particular
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 parents of those children who attend elite schools believe, that they should be free of paying taxes. While I understand
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, I do not entirely share it.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
learning
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the learning
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 process in state institutions completely depends on government support. It is not a big secret, that
this
Linking Words
 support relates
on
Change preposition
to
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 taxes, which are
duty
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the duty
a duty
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 of each citizen. All of
as
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 pay a certain amount of tax for public services that we may not use, but does it mean that we should not be required to pay? If
this
Linking Words
 could be possible
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
level
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the level
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 of education in public institutions would decline, without sponsoring
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
 of schooling
such
Linking Words
system
Correct article usage
a system
show examples
 has no chance to survive.
Secondly
Linking Words
, providing all teenagers with an opportunity to study complimentary quite beneficial for society. It is important to have
qualified
Correct article usage
a qualified
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 nation,
unfortunately
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,unfortunately
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 some families can not afford highly
payed
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paid
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 education for their
offsprings
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offspring
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. Many
of
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apply
show examples
celebrities are
the
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apply
show examples
examples of
whose
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those
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 who was brought up in poor families,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
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 Cristiano Ronaldo.
However
Linking Words
, the government give him
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ability to study in
sport
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sports
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 school, as we can see, nowadays Cristiano is one of the most successful
footballer
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footballers
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history. To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
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 everything that has been stated so far, I do not believe that any financial concessions should be made for
Correct your spelling
those
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whose
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
 who choose private schools.
Submitted by olechkakwitka on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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