IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Governments should spend money on public transportation rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #transportation #roads
Nowadays governments fund a bunch of money to public
transportations
, while some believe that public
transportations
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great importance ,others claim that
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
 one is roads,
Correct your spelling
however
show examples
how ever
Correct your spelling
however
show examples
 in my point of view ,the advantages of public transport more outweigh.
Firstly
, Public
transportations
 have various type of advantages , to give an example ;relieve traffic ,environmental benefit and much more.
Initially
Add a comma
,Initially
show examples
 as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
metropolitan citizen traffic takes up a lot of space in our lives but
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 connected to use of
car
 rate , almost everyone has a
car
 ,
consequently
 if the rate of using
car
 decrease and public transportation using rate can increase
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 effects directly in
positive
Change the article
a positive
show examples
 way for the traffic .
Secondly
 the most
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
 problem
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days , environmental pollution . While that if peoples
use less
Correct your spelling
useless
show examples
car
 each day it can be solved without any danger ,
however
 its
also
 connected to public
transportations
 , for an example south countries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a cleaner air since the percentage of public transport usage is higher rather than the others .
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 governments should spend much more money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 public
transportations
 rather than roads
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide for our social and physical health or
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
get used to each other .
Submitted by Özgür Denerel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: