Computer games are becoming very popular among children of all ages and nationalities. Parents say they are concerned because these games have little educational value and many harmful effects. Do you agree or disagree?

this

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, modern era the technology has made rapid progress in the

last

Linking Words

few years,

thus

Linking Words

it has given feasibility to operate any

games

Use synonyms

even on the smallest device.

Although

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, many people believe that it has a major effect on the

students

Use synonyms

and ones who play the

games

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online. I agree with the given statement as it will reduce to be creative and has some dangerous impact.

Firstly

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, spending more

time

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on online

games

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will impact their studies and imagination. In the recent report of the Hindustan times show that there is rapid progress in the school going student for spending more

time

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in involving themself in computer

games

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, as result

this

Linking Words

year the percentage of passing

students

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has reduced dramatically. It shows that pupils, who are not spending more

time

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studying the regular curriculum are falling behind than those

students

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who are spending less

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing

games

Use synonyms

Further

Linking Words

, It will reduce to think more which eventually makes them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

be less

creativity

Replace the word

creative

show examples

in their

life

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, it has many sides

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

of playing

games

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

computers as well as on mobile phones, Most of them who spend playing

games

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more will lose their

Correct your spelling

eyesight

show examples

eye sight

Correct your spelling

eyesight

show examples

which will cause them to wear

glass

Fix the agreement mistake

glasses

show examples

. Which eventually will impact their

life

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For example

Linking Words

, In China, most of the

students

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wear

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

eyeless even during the initial stage of their

life

Use synonyms

further

Linking Words

, many

students

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will fall ill when they try to study on the books. According to DR. Patel, there is an increase in cases of headaches special in lower-class

students

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as a result

Linking Words

of them had low grades in their studies. Spending more

time

Use synonyms

online

games

Use synonyms

will cause them to pay a high price by visiting hospitals. In conclusion, some believe that computer

games

Use synonyms

are essential, but it has major effects on student future and can lead to damage other parts of the body. Which will cause them to harm in the later stages in

life

Use synonyms

Barmagml

Oct 6, 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

326 words

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Computer games are becoming very popular among children of all ages and nationalities. Parents say they are concerned because these games have little educational value and many harmful effects. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Is mental strength important for success in sports or is it more important to have strong and fit people in sports. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Crime rates, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate? (Ulvi)

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?