IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is a fact that people nowadays are under a lot of pressure and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this? What are some solutions to address this issue?

#fact #people #pressure #lives #address
Nowadays,
people
 are facing numerous amounts of
pressure
 in their day in and day out lives which is enhancing stress in their lives.
This
 essay will discuss reasons for
such
 including work-life balance and increased job
pressure
.
This
 dissertation will
also
 suggest solutions for reducing it
such
 as exercise and family time. On the one hand,
people
 are working longer hours because the workforce is a competitive domain and they want to climb the corporate ladder.
In addition
, they have more job
pressure
 because they place themselves in unfavourable conditions.
For example
, some
people
 work harder to get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
high status and a high paying job which leads to result in mental and physical stress among them because they have to work overtime with increased
pressure
.
On the other hand
, exercise and family time both are essential to mitigate
such
 stress-related issues.
People
 need to understand the importance of their life. To exemplify, a daily walk or jogging will help to keep them as fit as a fiddle,
also
 in burning strain. Another example of it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is spending some time with their family or peers.
Therefore
, in order to reduce stain
people
 have to follow
such
 healthy regimes. To conclude,
Although
 in today's competitive environment everyone has to be part of the rat race; which is the primary cause of increasing stress. The increase of
pressure
 in life could result in
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 health issues, yet there would be a number of feasible methods to solve the problems
such
 as, healthy regimes approach which makes our lives a lot less stressful.
Submitted by niksmd1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: