Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more aggressive. To what extent do you agree with this?

In all ages, some people argue that

women

Use synonyms

always radiate a sense of peacefulness, while

men

Use synonyms

are inherently more aggressive. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

claim might be true if we lived in the past because of different living patterns, but nowadays both genders equally act aggressively and peacefully. In the past,

women

Use synonyms

were more peaceful but less aggressive than

men

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

can contribute to the fact that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

women

Add an article

the women

show examples

, after married, had to stay at home and became

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

full-time

housewife

Fix the agreement mistake

housewives

show examples

. Their duty was

merely

Replace the adverb

mere

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to raised children and took care

all

Change preposition

of all

show examples

the chores, and they did not have to socialise with other people.

As a result

Linking Words

, these behaviours caused them more considerate as well as introverted.

By contrast

Linking Words

, thanks to physical differences,

men

Use synonyms

were stronger and had more great powers of endurance.

Therefore

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, as

family's

Correct article usage

the family's

show examples

breadwinner, it was their responsibility to work in a competitive environment, which may

execerbate

Correct your spelling

exacerbate

their aggressive personality.

However

Linking Words

, in the modern

age

Add a comma

,age

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the personality difference between

women

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and

men

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has diminished.

This

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is because individuals, regardless of gender, live in the same environment and have similar work content, which can reduce their differences in characteristics.

As a result

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, a trait of

friendiness

Correct your spelling

friendliness

or sensitivity can easily be found

Change preposition

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

men

a man

show examples

men

Use synonyms

, whereas

women

Use synonyms

can be

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more combative as

men

Use synonyms

as well.

For example

Linking Words

accordint

Correct your spelling

according

to research, there are more and more house husbands choose to stay indoors and do chores as their wives can earn

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

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than them.

Therefore

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, personalities

such

Linking Words

as introvert and peacefulness, which were mainly innate in

women

Use synonyms

in the past, can be seen

Change preposition

show examples

men

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, while it is true that for a period of time gender difference made

women

Use synonyms

more peaceful and less aggressive, as lifestyle changes, a specific personal trait does not belong to a gender group anymore.

champincloudThu Oct 07 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more aggressive. To what extent do you agree with this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary schoolsuch as reading,writing and math How far do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science is to improve our life. To what extent do you agree?

Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or dis agree with this statement.