IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all student can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#study #university #students #tuition #fees #student #people #education
It is argued that, rising the
price
 of gases is the only path to reducing traffic and
air
 pollution problems in big cities. I strongly disagree with
this
 given statement and I think better solutions should be taken into consideration.
This
 essay will discuss
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of increasing
petrol
's
price
 and present several possible solutions for
this
 huge issue. There are many serious disadvantages of growing up the
price
 of gas,
first
 of all, in several businesses, gasses play a vital role. In more detail, raising the
price
 of
petrol
 leads
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
 problems for drivers because they have to
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 the
ecpense
Correct your spelling
expense
 of their service but
custumers
Correct your spelling
customers
 are annoyed.
Second
, many
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 have
fired
Add a missing verb
been fired
show examples
 from their works because companies can't pay their salaries.
For instance
, in 2019, enormous protestors in Iran went to
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 streets in their hometown and said their negative opinions about raising
petrol
's
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
However
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can do many activities in order to reduce traffic and level of
air
 pollution in urban areas. From my perspective,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can encourage
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 to obtain public transportation by
offer
Change the form of the verb
offering
show examples
 some discounts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
price
 of train and bus tickets.
Moreover
, planting trees can be highly beneficial for
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
show examples
 to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
 clean and fresh
air
. In
orther
Correct your spelling
other
order
 to mitigate the rate of
canbon
Correct your spelling
carbon
-dioxide,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can invest in environmentally friendly cars and motors.
For example
, for many years,
Netherland
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
 council has encouraged people to ride
Add an article
a bicycle
show examples
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
show examples
 their own
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. It was
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 example for all countries which face
air
 pollution. To conclude,
air
 problem is the main issue for many industrial cities but raising the
price
 of
petrol
does't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 work at all because it leads
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
 problems for some jobs, but there are other paths to decrease
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of greenhouse gasses in big cities
such
 as, increasing greenery, providing electronic cars which are environmentally friendly and develop public transportation in suburb areas which humans can use.
Acoording
Correct your spelling
According
 to what I said, I seriously disagree with
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 idea.
Submitted by aminpost on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!