More and more children are becoming obese. What are the causes of this and What are the effects.
Children
health problems in the recent era are constantly on the rise, overweight is one of them. Change noun form
Children's
This
situation has several reasons; it has some long-term effects. All these will explore in the ensuring
essay.
Correct your spelling
ensuing
To begin
with, do not follow a productive lifestyle and eating unhealthy food
are the main reasons for Obesity. Children
actively consume first
Correct pronoun usage
their first
food
, which is unhygienic. For example
, many students consuming
junk foods during school time and they are Wrong verb form
consume
attracting
to these foods, for which there are no rules. Wrong verb form
attracted
Additionally
, these days, children
are maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle by watching television and using gadgets. Most children
are not getting enough physical activity and the results are detrimental, also
parents do not give proper
time.
Correct pronoun usage
them proper
On the other hand
, these causes have long term
consequences. Add a hyphen
long-term
Although
fast food
is effective for instant eating and those who have no time to make food
, it is unhygienic and damages our immune system. For instance
, children
's obesity and different types of health problems boom. Consequently
, Due to
a bad lifestyle
they do not maintain relationships with family and friends; Add a comma
lifestyle,
however
, they face a bad amalgam of illness stress and drug abuse.
In conclusion, it must be highlighted that obesity in children
is responsible for eating unhealthy food
and feeling to lead a productive life. If do not find out the problem of solving the effects of these factors will be even greater. Last
but not least there is no denying that children
’s health problems have become a consideration issueSubmitted by mksabbir3439 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion need improvement for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing causes and effects of childhood obesity. However, it lacks depth and specific examples to fully support the main ideas.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...