More and more children are becoming obese. What are the causes of this and What are the effects.

#children #effects

Children

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Children's

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health problems in the recent era are constantly on the rise, overweight is one of them.

This

situation has several reasons; it has some long-term effects. All these will explore in the

ensuring

Correct your spelling

ensuing

show examples

essay.

To begin

with, do not follow a productive lifestyle and eating unhealthy

food

are the main reasons for Obesity.

Children

actively consume

first

Correct pronoun usage

their first

show examples

food

, which is unhygienic.

For example

, many students

consuming

Wrong verb form

consume

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junk foods during school time and they are

attracting

Wrong verb form

attracted

show examples

to these foods, for which there are no rules.

Additionally

, these days,

children

are maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle by watching television and using gadgets. Most

children

are not getting enough physical activity and the results are detrimental,

also

parents do not give

proper

Correct pronoun usage

them proper

show examples

time.

On the other hand

, these causes have

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

consequences.

Although

fast

food

is effective for instant eating and those who have no time to make

food

, it is unhygienic and damages our immune system.

For instance

children

's obesity and different types of health problems boom.

Consequently

Due to

a bad

lifestyle

Add a comma

lifestyle,

show examples

they do not maintain relationships with family and friends;

however

, they face a bad amalgam of illness stress and drug abuse. In conclusion, it must be highlighted that obesity in

children

is responsible for eating unhealthy

food

and feeling to lead a productive life. If do not find out the problem of solving the effects of these factors will be even greater.

Last

but not least there is no denying that

children

’s health problems have become a consideration issue

Submitted by mksabbir3439 on Thu Oct 07 2021

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion need improvement for coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The essay partially addresses the task by discussing causes and effects of childhood obesity. However, it lacks depth and specific examples to fully support the main ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more children are becoming obese. What are the causes of this and What are the effects.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinino? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children.

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.