Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

A fairly new but increasingly universal career these days is becoming a prestigious celebrity.

Although

every profession has

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

both sides and

this

is not an exception, I particularly believe that its redeeming feature can not outweigh its counterparts. Without a shadow of a doubt, by being famous,

people

can be extremely wealthy. Obviously, the more popularity they accomplish in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, the more handsome

salary

Correct article usage

the salary

show examples

range they are offered. For a valid example, a reputed soccer player namely Cristiano Ronaldo

is considered

Change the verb form

has considered

show examples

one of the most successful as well as affluent athletes thanks to his reputation.

As a result

, being a star can offer

people

a privileged

life

. While the merit brought by

this

phenomenon is widely acknowledged, its so-called drawback, especially the privacy-related one, still lingers. Clearly, since a wide range of strangers

draw

Change the verb form

draws

show examples

their attention to a celebrity's

life

, their personal space, which is considered a basic need of a human, is deprived.

Hence

, it is an obstacle for those well-known

people

to absolutely enjoy their

life

when every act of his or her is being watched. Cole Sprouse, an

internationally-acclaimed

Correct your spelling

internationally acclaimed

show examples

actor for his role in a movie called Five feet

a part

Correct your spelling

apart

show examples

, once shared that he had been frequently disturbed by either

paparazies

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

or his over-excited fans.

As a result

, being a superstar can be overwhelming once in a while because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of private space. To sum up,

although

gaining fame can result in a

life

without monetary issues, it, in fact, causes tensions to

people

in terms of getting a substantial amount of attention.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Thu Oct 07 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people from different places are spending more time away from their families.What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves ?

In many countries people can go to a supermarket and buy products

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?