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Band 4.5

The efficient functioning of society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#society #rules #laws #function #individuals
Nowadays, some
people
 believe that the efficient functioning of
society
 relies on
rules
 and
laws
, so the
society
 would not operate well if the human were free to do whatever they wanted. But other
people
 do not think so. From my standpoint, I reckon that
society
 will not be operated if
people
 were free to do whatever they wanted. If everyone were free to do whatever they wanted, no
rules
 or
laws
 to regulate the
society
 which means there is chaos in
society
, so the
society
 would not
function
 well. To be specific, if
people
 do not want to obey the
rules
 or
laws
,
such
 as running the red light or mugging.
This
 could cause huge chaos in
society
, the citizen maybe live in the fear, so it has a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. If
people
 like to do anything they want without restriction,
people
 may not trust others easily, it is
also
 a horrible influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
civilisation. If
people
 do not trust each other, they may not tend to help other
people
, because they believe that the situation is fake, so individuals could lose their sympathy, in the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 it will cause
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 effect on
society
function
.
On the other hand
,
society
is not
Change the verb form
is not functioning
show examples
function
 well only because
people
 do not obey the
rules
 or
laws
, it may
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 other reasons.
Such
 as if the government does not services
people
 well, the
society
 operation is not well either. So the world may not operate well because of
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 things, not only if
people
 were free to do whatever they wanted. In conclusion,
Although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
function
 may
caused
Change the verb form
be caused
show examples
 by
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 things, it still
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 influenced that if everyone were free to do whatever they wanted.
Submitted by annfang97 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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