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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The efficient functioning of society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#society #rules #laws #function #individuals
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Nowadays, some
people
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 believe that the efficient functioning of
society
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 relies on
rules
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 and
laws
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, so the
society
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 would not operate well if the human were free to do whatever they wanted. But other
people
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 do not think so. From my standpoint, I reckon that
society
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 will not be operated if
people
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 were free to do whatever they wanted. If everyone were free to do whatever they wanted, no
rules
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 or
laws
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 to regulate the
society
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 which means there is chaos in
society
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, so the
society
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 would not
function
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 well. To be specific, if
people
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 do not want to obey the
rules
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 or
laws
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,
such
Linking Words
 as running the red light or mugging.
This
Linking Words
 could cause huge chaos in
society
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, the citizen maybe live in the fear, so it has a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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. If
people
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 like to do anything they want without restriction,
people
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 may not trust others easily, it is
also
Linking Words
 a horrible influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
civilisation. If
people
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 do not trust each other, they may not tend to help other
people
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, because they believe that the situation is fake, so individuals could lose their sympathy, in the
end
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,end
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 it will cause
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 effect on
society
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function
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
society
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is not
Change the verb form
is not functioning
show examples
function
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 well only because
people
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 do not obey the
rules
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 or
laws
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, it may
has
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have
show examples
 other reasons.
Such
Linking Words
 as if the government does not services
people
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 well, the
society
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 operation is not well either. So the world may not operate well because of
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 things, not only if
people
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 were free to do whatever they wanted. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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function
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 may
caused
Change the verb form
be caused
show examples
 by
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 things, it still
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 influenced that if everyone were free to do whatever they wanted.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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