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Band 4.5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints
In
this
 modern era,
technology
 has improved rapidly.
Such
 improvement brings positive and negative effects to humankind. According to some parties,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
 connects and gathers
people
.
However
, other parties believe that
technology
 must be blamed to drive
people
 apart. I will enunciate both views in the following paragraphs below.
First
 off, internet connection is the proof of the improvement of
technology
. With
such
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
, we are able to connect to
people
 with different backgrounds and from different jurisdictions.
For instance
, in
this
 pandemic period even though we are prohibited to meet each other physically but internet connection has brought us closer together and breaking down all the barriers. We still can connect and share information, care and love
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our parents, families and friends virtually as long as we are connected to
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
However
,
on the other hand
, it is an irrefutable fact that
technology
also
 drives
people
 apart. It creates new normal lifestyles, as can be seen nowadays that young
people
 can prefer to spend most of their time in front of their monitor or mobile phone and talk to
people
 from
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side. Rather than spend their time
talk
Change the form of the verb
talking
show examples
 to
people
 who are physically presented in front of them. Based on the foregoing,
technology
is not only brings
Change the verb form
is not only bringing
show examples
people
 together but
also
 drives
people
 apart.
Then
, we can conclude that it is not because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 fault of
technology
 that drives
people
 apart but it is simply because
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
people
 adapt
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 changes and control the
technology
.
Submitted by fransxaverius008 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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