IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people are using the Internet to make financial transactions. What can be done to tackle this problem?

#internet #crime #people #transactions
Intenet is not
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 safest place nowadays, unfortunately. There are a bunch of different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of possible
crimes
 which
mae
Correct your spelling
may
 be done through
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 or via devices
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have
connection
Add an article
a connection
show examples
 to
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
, even if they are offline and turned off. Using credit/debit cards,
such
 payment
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 as Google Pay, Amazon Pay or PayPal is a usual practice for most
people
 around the world as it's a very comfortable way to make purchases online. Most of any
brends
Correct your spelling
brands
 and shops have their online versions to make any purchases
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 na few clicks without
leaveing
Correct your spelling
leaving
 home and wasting time. That's all very
comforatble
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 for most
people
 but there is another side
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 making transactions online. There are a lot of
ways
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 your
money
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 scammers or phishers.
Evenidentity
Correct your spelling
Even identity
 theft is world spread now. Fortunately, there are several
ways
 which can help you to protect your
money
 and data in safe as well as banks and governments are always implementing new security services in order to prevent any kind of
Internet
crimes
. In my
opimion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, spreading knowledge about possible
ways
 of
Internet
 crime around
people
 will help to secure their data and
money
 while using online payment systems.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 there is a function called "chargeback" which banks are providing to their customer's if they make a request. It can be
requisted
Correct your spelling
requested
required
 in case someone stole
money
Add the particle
to form
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 a card or bank account, online shop made duplicated
transctions
Correct your spelling
transactions
 and you paid twice for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one good, any charges without your permission.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
Internet
 protection services may have
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 impact in helping with staying on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 safe side. One more important way to fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Internet
crimes
 is protection
domestic
Correct article usage
the domestic
show examples
Internet
 by
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
law and government which helps
people
 to understand they can be protected and covered back. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to tackle
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
crimes
 issue nowadays so being informed about
pssible
Correct your spelling
possible
ways
 of
crimes
 decreases
probability
Add an article
the probability
show examples
 of getting scammed or being fooled around and lose any costs or important
peronal
Correct your spelling
personal
 data.
Internet
 crime is increasing rapidly as more and more
people
 are using the
Internet
 to make financial transactions. What can be done to tackle
this
 problem?
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: