IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The consumption of the world’s resources is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are causes and solutions?

#consumption #world’s #resources #rate
It is often argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the rate of natural
resources
 going downward. Because of the population on earth increasing
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 alarming rate due to meet their regular needs the
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
water
 , gas, oil are increasing and to solve
this
 problem public awareness campaign can play a vital role. Generally speaking, there are many reasons behind
this
 problem. Perhaps the predominant reason is that, higher growth of population . The use of
water
 in households are increasing for that reason
people
 pumping up surface
water
 to provide
water
 supplies as well as many miles and factories run with
water
.
For example
, the government-run a survey about the consumption of
water
, so they find almost 80% of pumping
water
 being used
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 household purposes.
In addition
, most of the vehicles and factories run with gas and oil to boost up economic
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stability.
As a result
, it is created a shortage of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
resources
.
On the other hand
, to tackle
this
 situation government need to launch
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 awareness campaign program in the media and in a school to educate
people
 about the dangerous side of the frequent uses of natural
resources
. The date needed to teach
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 how can
people
 save
water
 as well as should inform
people
 about present situations
thus
 world running out of
freshwater
Correct your spelling
fresh water
show examples
 very soon and
also
 have a negative impact on the globe.
For example
, in Japan
people
 are saving 60%
water
 and gas that only happen for awareness.
However
, the government
also
 to-need impose taxes on the use of
resources
. To conclude , it is the high time we need to find renewable sources and demotivates
people
 to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
resources
.
Submitted by mahmuduts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: