IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that development of computer has changed the human lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #development #computer #lives
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It is undeniable that
computer
Use synonyms
evolution
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 is continually growing up in every
sectors
Change to a singular noun
sector
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. That a reason why many
people
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 believe that
computer
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evolution
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 was affected
people
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 and changed human
societies
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. From my point of view, I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea for many reasons, described in the following paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I strongly believe that
computer
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evolution
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 provides many advantages to human
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many
people
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 use
Use synonyms
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 to be an assistance in
a
Remove the article
apply
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daily life.
For example
Linking Words
, they use
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computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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 to control an air conditioner via an application on a mobile phone.
Secondly
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, the
computer
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 can help
people
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 to forecast a situation that
people
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 can arrange an effective schedule.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
computer
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 makes human life to be more
convince
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convincing
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
an
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apply
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online banking is an instrument for
people
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 to shop without paying
a
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apply
show examples
cash.
Additionally
Linking Words
, working with
Use synonyms
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 will change human
societies
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 that
people
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 can
easy
Replace the word
easily
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 contact
with
Change preposition
apply
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other
people
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 from another side of the world. Nowadays, a virtual meeting via an application on a
computer
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 is most popular for many
people
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 due to
people
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 can arrange a meeting everywhere that they want, while face to face meeting is less popular due to they must spend too much time for
arrange
Change the verb form
arranging
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 a schedule that appropriate for everyone.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
computer
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evolution
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 made
people
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 had more attempt to find
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 and did not stop learning. In conclusion, I personally agree that
computer
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evolution
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 changes
people
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behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and human
societies
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 because it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
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 to me that the advantage of
computer
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evolution
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 will involve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human life in the future and build a good standard of human
societies
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.
Submitted by palmpppm on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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