IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that young people should choose their professions themselves. Other believe that their parents should choose for them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professions #parents
It is undeniable that the world at the present time has many occupations which can make young
people
to
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apply
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confuse when they will choose their
jobs
, resulting in some
people
 think that these
jobs
 should be chosen freely by themselves. While others argue that their
parents
 should choose some careers for their kids. From my point of view, I believe that the best solution in terms of choosing a job for younger persons is the cooperation between both
parents
 and their
children
. In the following paragraph, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in the detail. It is true to say that giving younger
people
 to choose their career by themselves can make positive impacts for them rather than their
parents
 choose for them due to they can follow their dream
jobs
.
Additionally
, I believe that if adults give opportunity in terms of choosing
jobs
, it will make them
to
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apply
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achieve rather than forcing create negative impacts in ways of mental health,
for example
, stress and depression, in my opinion.
However
, others believe that choosing some occupations in the future of
children
 depends not only on the individual of young persons but
also
 on their
parents
 as well because
parents
 know which
jobs
 in the future will be beneficial for their kids.
In addition
, some families have their own business, and they want their kids to work in their own business, resulting in their family think that they should choose some occupations, which can make a lot of benefits for their company, for their younger persons,
for instance
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the cooperation between family and
children
 is the best way to use in choosing a career in the future for their
children
.
Therefore
, it is recommended that
parents
 and
people
 in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 should give the guideline for their
children
 rather than forcing them.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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