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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some would argue that laptops, desktops are often utilized in education that has an advantage, while others say that it has a disadvantage in the longer run. While excessive usage has a negative impact on
kids
Use synonyms
 physically and mentally. I believe that
computers
Use synonyms
 provide more
features
Use synonyms
 which makes life easier
to
Change preposition
for
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 everyone. On one hand,
computers
Use synonyms
 can damage children at
later
Add an article
a later
show examples
 stage due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 often
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
.
Kids
Use synonyms
 have online study in their schools and teachers conduct the class over multiple applications online. These devices
also
Linking Words
 have
in built
Correct your spelling
inbuilt
show examples
features
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Microsoft Teams and Zoom where
student
Add an article
the student
a student
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 does not have to go anywhere.
Due to continues
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Continues
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 activity
over
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apply
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online makes
students
Use synonyms
 lethargic.
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
 impacts
on
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apply
show examples
their both mental and physical health.
For example
Linking Words
, classes on
computers
Use synonyms
 during
covid-19
Correct article usage
the covid-19
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 pandemic has
make
Change the verb form
made
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
 inactive
due
Add the preposition
todue
show examples
 excessive usage of screens.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that it is
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
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responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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 of parents to take care of their
kids
Use synonyms
 for recreational activities so that they can have balance in everything.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, It provides more flexibility to the
students
Use synonyms
. Everyone can access
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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 on different platforms
such
Linking Words
 as YouTube, The GreatLearning and The
Upgrad
Correct your spelling
Upgrade
. Teachers can take the class over the internet where they can see each other through
webcam
Add an article
a webcam
show examples
. Online platforms have screen sharing, whiteboard, presentations
features
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 where
students
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 can easily see what their teachers are displaying.
This
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 saves numerous time
of
Change preposition
for
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 the learners in commuting.
For example
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, many
students
Use synonyms
 became familiar with these electronic devices which did not stop the school and education
remained
Add the particle
toremained
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 continue in even lockdown of
covid-19
Add an article
a covid-19
the covid-19
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 pandemic .
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that these devices are
blessing
Correct article usage
a blessing
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 for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learners. In conclusion,
kids
Use synonyms
 have
adverse
Add an article
an adverse
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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 on
access
Add an article
the access
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of
Change preposition
to
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computers
Use synonyms
 frequently.
However
Linking Words
, It comes with many useful
features
Use synonyms
 where certain restrictions can reduce negative results on children.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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