Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. What extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money

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Homeless

people

Use synonyms

are prevalent in every major city across the world.

However

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

believe the solution for ridding a city of homeless

people

Use synonyms

is to give them

money

Use synonyms

, whilst others feel

that is

Linking Words

not the way to go. I agree with the notion

Change preposition

that

show examples

throwing

money

Use synonyms

at the situation

Correct your spelling

show examples

not

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the way forward, and I will substantiate my reasoning through the course of

this

Linking Words

essay. First and foremost, we need to understand why is a person homeless. There could be a number of reasons. It could be because they suffer from either drug or alcohol addictions, or mental problems, maybe they are war veterans struggling to adapt to daily civilian life, or maybe they are just

people

Use synonyms

who fell on hard times. Sections of society believe that if

money

Use synonyms

is thrown at them

then

Linking Words

they will be able to afford housing and food for themselves.

For example

Linking Words

, as of now the homeless live aimlessly on the streets, but if given enough finance, they can be able to purchase food and obtain shelter, which will help their survival

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

during the winter months.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

only masks the

problem

Use synonyms

rather than facing it. Unless we truly understand the

problem

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, we cannot fix it. Giving

money

Use synonyms

to a drug addict or an alcoholic will not help them to look for housing.

Instead

Linking Words

, they will use the

money

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to purchase more drugs and alcohol.

This

Linking Words

is why, first and foremost the government must invest funds in organisations which can help the homeless, understand the

problem

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and

then

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, slowly over time fix the

problem

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. In conclusion, we should remember “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime." It is

this

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same philosophy that must be used in dealing with the homeless.

Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on Sun Oct 10 2021

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coherence cohesion

The ideas in the essay are generally well organized and connected, but some improvement can be made in using more linking words and signposts to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. What extent do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You have bought furniture from a store. When you received, there were some damages. Write a letter to the concerned store manager. In your letter, you should: Give information about the furniture. Explain the damage Ask the manager to solve your issue.

Some companies blocks their employees from using social media and web sites such as facebook. Do you think managers should trust employees to use time wisely, or do you think it is smart of companies to blocks access to some sites? Provide reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together. while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicle will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?