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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give criminals longer prison sentences. Others however, think there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #criminals #prison #sentences
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People
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 have different views about whether longer prison sentences is the most efficient way to reduce
crime
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.
Although
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 there are some advantages of longer sentences, I believe there are better ways to deter
crimes
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such
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 as improving the economy and scholarship. Some
people
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 argued that if the punishment is not harsh enough, it could not deter potential
crimes
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. The fear of a longer and more severe sentence could stop
people
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 from committing
crimes
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.
In addition
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, the main purpose of incarceration is to force the offenders to think and reflect upon the damages they caused to the victims of the society,
therefore
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 a longer sentence is more likely to serve
this
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 purpose and alter the mindsets and behavioural patterns of the prisoners. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce
crime
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. Though a longer sentence is applicable to reduce the
crime
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 rate, it hardly could be the most efficient way. According to scientific research, most human infants have an innate concern for the well-being of others,
that is
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 to say, humans are fundamentally nice and
crimes
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 could primarily be attributable to social circumstances like poverty, overexposure to violence and lack of education. As a matter of fact, there is a direct linkage between
crime
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 rates and economic conditions. The better a country’s financial condition is, the lower the
crime
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 rate. Poverty is the mother of
crime
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. In a society where
people
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 are deprived of
accessibility
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access
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 to adequate food, shelter and jobs, they are more likely to swing to
crimes
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, regardless of the severity of the punishment.
Moreover
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, education
also
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 plays a fundamental role in diverting
people
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, especially younger
people
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 from committing
crimes
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. In my opinion, long prison terms could be effective in lowering the
crime
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 rate, it is hardly the best way. From a long-term perspective, creating more job opportunities and enhancing the education quality would be more constructive measures.
Submitted by tyn_880128 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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