In many developed countries more than 30% of the population is obese. What do you think are the causes of this problem?

#countries #population

In recent years, there are numerous difficulties related to public healthiness in many developed countries especially correlated to obesity concern which becomes a major problem, and it may lead to other chronic diseases

such

as diabetes, stroke, and heart disease.

This

essay will present a couple of reasons with several truths to sustain the statements. The number one cause of fatness is from the external aspect which is excessive consumption of

junk

food

. As we know that

junk

food

does not have balanced nutrition which most of the contents are calories and it will become fat when our

body

cannot burn it anymore.

As a result

, people who consume

junk

food

regularly will uncontrollably gain their

body

weight.

This

matter is compounded when we have

junk

food

immediately before sleep because the

body

does not get an opportunity to burn it.

Also

, for some people who spend an entire day on a chair and decide not to do any work out which lack of physical activity can lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

weight problems. Another cause of obesity is from the internal aspect which is an inherited genetic factor from blood relation due to mutation of the genes

consequently

it is not working as well as it should.

This

is extremely possible,

thus

whatever is eaten by them will become fat that accumulates in their

body

, even though these people have maintained a healthy diet and life or even do exercise consistently

on the contrary

due to the genetic factor,

then

it will be difficult to avoided and requires special medical treatment. To conclude, the weight problem is not only caused by lifestyle

also

by hereditary factors that are inevitable.

Submitted by aditya_kristiantosuwandi on Sun Oct 10 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many developed countries more than 30% of the population is obese. What do you think are the causes of this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

You have just moved into a new home and are plannig to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter . introduce yourself . discribe your plans for the party . invite your neibourhour to come

Some people think that young children need to attend nursery before primary school. While others believe young children can spend all day at home. Duscuss both views and give your opinion.