Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal of more money than people in other impòrtant professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#sports #professionals #money #people #impòrtant #professions

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are two views about alteration. Some

people

Use synonyms

prefer to do the same activities in their routine

life

Use synonyms

, they try as hard as they can to deter from any change. Whereas, others believe that

changes

Use synonyms

come with several positive consequences. I

personaly

Correct your spelling

personally

agree with the

second

Linking Words

opinion.

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss both opinions It is

common

Replace the word

commonly

show examples

believed especially

between

Change preposition

among

show examples

old

Add an article

the old

an old

show examples

population that alterations come with difficulty and stress,

thus

Linking Words

, they prefer to have their standard of living and get away from any

changes

Use synonyms

even small ones

such

Linking Words

as purchasing another brand of tea.

This

Linking Words

group of

people

Use synonyms

would like to do the same

acitivities

Correct your spelling

activities

every-day

Correct your spelling

every day

show examples

. From

psychological

Add an article

a psychological

show examples

perspective, the risk of depression is high between

this

Linking Words

group and serious

tought

Correct your spelling

thought

taught

should be taken into consideration by society.

However

Linking Words

thera

Correct your spelling

there

are many

people

Use synonyms

that are risk lovers and they are

challengeable

Replace the word

challenging

show examples

. They believe that without

changes

Use synonyms

our

life

Use synonyms

would be boring.

Moreover

Linking Words

, change is the

first

Linking Words

step of a big achievement, so it comes with

hard

Correct your spelling

hardworking

show examples

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

and red eyes. If you are change-awareness, you will not unlock your dream. I've read many books about successful persons, all of them like having

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

in their

life

Use synonyms

and work. I

personaly

Correct your spelling

personally

personal

agree that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

all of us needed to be more flexible in

life

Use synonyms

, it leads to recognize essential lessons and

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

new things. It doesn't matter has positive or negative results but it gives us great motivation to grow. To conclude, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

two

seprate

Correct your spelling

separate

view

Change to a plural noun

views

show examples

about

changes

Use synonyms

. some

people

Use synonyms

would like

having

Change the verb form

to have

show examples

the same

time-table

Correct your spelling

timetable

show examples

, while, others, believe that

changes

Use synonyms

are important and beneficial in our

life

Use synonyms

. I

stongly

Correct your spelling

strongly

agree with the

second

Linking Words

opinion.

Submitted by aminpost on Sun Oct 10 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?
Many individuals opine that subjects such as drawing,drama and music are fruitful for pupils due to this they need to add these areas of study to their syllabus.I totally agree with the above statement because this will make a study more interesting and help to identify creative minds.
5
band
"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Regarding the fact that we are living in the modern world, there are quite a few people make an effort to determine new profitable approaches to parenting issues. Consequently, a considerable number of people firmly state that fathership ought to get the same hype and attention as mothership, while the other majority of people unanimously denounce and claim that motherhood is the most important and responsible side of the parenting. Personally, I hold the view that we should ponder over this tender subject equally and properly. The following essay targets to support the mentioned statements above with appropriate reasons and examples.
6
band
The paragraph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six -month period in 2011.
The line graph compares and contrasts information on the questions asked by tourists at the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period, from January to June in the year 2011.
6
band
In the past, everyone wore clothes according to their culture but now people wear similar clothes all around the world. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, everyone is wearing stylish clothes from the last few decades. In the past, all people wore clothes according to their culture but now they wear similar clothes worldwide. This is a positive development. In this essay, I will explain all the reasons in detail.
6
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Some people hold the view that children always waste their time on their smartphones and there are many reasons for that problem. from my observation, I suppose that this habit has many negative results for kids and teenagers, which I will discuss in this essay.

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal of more money than people in other impòrtant professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The paragraph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six -month period in 2011.

In the past, everyone wore clothes according to their culture but now people wear similar clothes all around the world. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?