In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

Exploration is a good way to enhance knowledge, few nations advocating

this

trend after completion of school exams,

although

the merits are outweighing the demerits, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

,opinion

show examples

it’s better to have a gap year for work or outing, in

this

essay I will discuss both how it benefiting the young generation. To commence with, seeking knowledge

only

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is only

show examples

possible when we move out of bounds, it’s very important to explore different things and parts so that they can decide easily about their future,

however

necessary

Add a missing verb

is necessary

show examples

because nowadays everything changing at

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

pace,

for instance

, if a person wants to study outside their country for

professional

Add an article

the professional

a professional

show examples

course they should visit that place so that they will friendly with all

such

as, nature, climate, language and community,

Moreover

, its excellent utilisation of their leisure time. I totally reckon

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

idea.

Furthermore

other youngster

Change the wording

another youngster

other youngsters

show examples

who do not want to skip their study they prefer continuity without break between their studies, while it will give them only college environment addition to that they can be ahead by one year at university, but ultimately, they

also

require

exposer

Replace the word

exposure

show examples

after completion and it sometimes deter their practical skills, even though they leg in co-operation with

foreign

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the foreign

show examples

environment it may

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to change fields, change streams and many other issues.

Consequently

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

important to withdraw themselves for a year for exposer. In capsulation, taking

break

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a break

show examples

from study for jobs and experience or to visit new places is an effective strategy of the nations, in my

opinion

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,opinion

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it has supremacy over its drawbacks, in

future

Add a comma

,future

show examples

it should be good to implement it

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apply

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because

this

will minimize the public fear and enhance the overall personality.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Fully explain your ideas

2.Many parents in Vietnam invest heavily into their child’s education hoping for the best.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

When employers choose the best person for a job they should consider personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?