Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed what is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

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In recent days,
parents
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put a lot of
pressure
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on their
children
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to succeed because of too much societal
pressure
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and investments they have put into them. In my view,
this
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is a negative move since it drives young people to
depression
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and
suicide
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.
To begin
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with,
parents
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feel a lot of
pressure
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from society. Society at large expects that
parents
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must ensure that their
kids
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become successful, either in school, at work, or in sports. Whenever
children
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fail,
parents
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are the first people to be blamed, so they always push their young ones to succeed at all costs. In Kenya,
for example
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, when young individuals get spoiled or fail in life,
parents
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are always on the receiving end for failing to fulfil their parental responsibilities.
In addition
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to the above, they might have
also
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spent a significant amount of money educating their
children
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. They might have sent them to the most expensive schools or
send
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sent
show examples
them abroad, and in case the
children
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fail, they will be ridiculed.
Hence
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,
parents
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are always under
pressure
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to ensure that their
kids
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succeed.
On the other hand
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,
this
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is a bad move as
children
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might end up in
depression
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or
committing
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commit
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suicide
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. In most cases, especially in Kenya, many
parents
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play a role in whatever their
kids
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do in their lives. If it is education, they want to choose a career path for them, which
may
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many
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be
Verb problem
apply
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kids
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may not be interested in. In
such
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circumstances, they will be doing things that they do not have a passion to pursue, and
at the end
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of it all, they might be frustrated and driven to
suicide
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or
depression
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;
therefore
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, it is paramount that
kids
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, as much as
parents
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want them to succeed, deserve freedom. In conclusion, lately,
parents
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have been under
pressure
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because of too much
pressure
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from the society and resources they have invested in their
children
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;
however
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,
this
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is a negative move as
children
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might commit
suicide
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or get into
depression
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.
Submitted by mtyree9893 on

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task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and provides relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be stronger. Additionally, there is room for improvement in the transition between paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay exhibits a wide range of vocabulary, which is suitable for the task. However, pay attention to the use of synonyms and the precision of word choice.
grammatical range
The essay displays a varied and accurate use of grammar, including complex structures. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
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