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Nowadays, young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set as good example. It is a positive or negative development?

#people #media #sports #stars #development
It is
commanly
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commonly
obrserved
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observed
 that youth of today admires celebrities like media and sports stars despite
of
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apply
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them not becoming
a good role models
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good role model
good role models
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 for youngsters. I strongly believe that
this
 is a negative development.
To begin
 with, there are plenty of reasons to support people who consider
this
 as a negative trend for their children.
Firstly
, the celebrities advertise for drinking, smoking and alcohol in movies, concerts and social media platforms which glamorize
the
Correct article usage
apply
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binge drinking and illicit drug use.
Sometime
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Sometimes
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, they post
the
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apply
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pictures of themselves
invloved
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involved
 in drug parties which made young people
to
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apply
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think as it is normal to consume alcohol. Once a teenager starts drinking,
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
she
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 becomes addicted to
this
 which affects his behaviour, grades and overall health.
Furthermore
, these stars set unrealistic ambitions like zero figure with
Add a hyphen
no-carb
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no
Correct determiner usage
a
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 carb diet. Watching
these actor
Change the determiner
this actor
these actors
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 or actresses on TV and in movies made youth feels less confident of their body.
This
 result in children not taking adequate diet and becoming patient of
anemia
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anaemia
show examples
 and less focused on their academic.
For example
,
Amamda
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Amanda
, a child artist who followed her favourite actress, who had zero
figure
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figures
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 leaves her in the state of
malnourised
Correct your spelling
malnourished
 because of lack of nutritious diet.
Last
 but not least, these famous people sometimes endorse products
which
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that
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 are not in public interest like fairness cream, weight loss supplements even though they themselves do not consume them.
Adolsecents
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Adolescents
 who do not belong to affluent
family
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families
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 resort to criminal activities like shoplifting in order to collect these exorbitant items. All these things shift their focus from studies to become famous by buying expensive clothes,
accesories
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accessories
 and others, endorsed by movies or sports stars. To conclude, I would like to reiterate that sometimes admiring
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 famous person have adverse effects on
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
, which can not be ignored.
Submitted by kr15.lalit on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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