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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #member #society #school #place
Children
 are one of the pivot assets of the country;
therefore
, it is better for the country
as well as
children
 to learn discipline and how to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with the help of their
parents
 but certain people claim that it is a school's obligation. Without
further
speculation
Add a comma
speculation,
show examples
 I will dissect contrary views and bring forth my deduction. Pupils,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their early stage of
life
Add the comma(s)
life,
show examples
 have less maturity;
consequently
, they learn various aspects of
life
 from their first role models, their
parents
.
Therefore
,
parents
 ought to give a plethora of advice to their
children
 which help them to build a great image of themselves among their relatives
as well as
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Moreover
,
parents
 are the first
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 to predict their son's moves so that they can teach them
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first place which would give them confidence to behave like a mature person.
For example
,
department
Correct article usage
the department
show examples
 of
discipline's
Capitalize word
Discipline's
show examples
 research endorses that in 70% of
children
's success,
parents
 play an immense role by giving advice on their behaviour.
On the other hand
,
students
 spend almost 6 hours in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school which is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient time for anyone to improve any student's behaviour. Nowadays, schools have a modicum of lectures on anger management which explains various concepts of behaviour. In fact, plenty of teachers educate their
students
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 to behave with elders and different ways to give them respect.
In addition
, the government is planning a course on discipline management for
students
 which provides them
important
Change preposition
with important
show examples
 lessons based on good communication for their job interviews.
To sum up
,
parents
 and schools both play an extraordinary role in
children
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. I believe that both are necessary for
children
's growth and without
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
students
 would lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
control over their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 by misbehaving with others on simple points.
Submitted by hetpatel3205 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • moral values
  • social norms
  • structured environment
  • cooperation
  • respect
  • communal responsibilities
  • decision-making
  • societal integration
  • consistent messages
  • cultural expectations
  • complementary roles
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