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Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employment #age #right #lots #work
a few
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that
hiering
Correct your spelling
hiring
hearing
people
 over the
age
 of 60 can be
proplematic
Correct your spelling
problematic
 and
this
 should be faced by forcing
people
 over that
age
 to retire in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 really support
this
 point of view for many reasons like having in mind that
people
 over 60 have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of obligations and considering the element of
experince
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experience
 these
people
 have there is
ageneral
Correct your spelling
a general
general
 agreement that
people
 over the
age
 of 60 are in danger of making errors in their
work
 due to their
age
 ,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 these
people
 are
hieghlly
Correct your spelling
highly
valeuble
Correct your spelling
valuable
 for many sectors because of the many years of
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
work
 balance and to demonstrate my point of view
further more
Correct your spelling
furthermore
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will come to mention a
veriety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
jobs
 that
spesifficlly
Correct your spelling
specifically
requiers
Correct your spelling
requires
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 workers like being a legal advisor or being a university teacher,
therefore
people
 over the
age
 of 60 should be allowed to apply to
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
jobs
 because they are
hieghlly
Correct your spelling
highly
 wanted. another angle of
this
 debate suggests that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are some
jobs
 that
requires
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require
show examples
physicall
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physical
work
 or heigh
foucusing
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focusing
 abilities which means that
people
 over the
age
 of 60 cannot do these
jobs
 and for a certain extent they are
rieght
Correct your spelling
right
 but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 that
this
 must be the case for
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 forcing retirement is
injust
Correct your spelling
unjust
show examples
 to these
people
 as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have discussed there is advantages and disadvantages for the case of allowing
people
 over the
age
 of 60 to
work
however
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that they should be allowed to
work
 no matter what
age
 they are. retirement should always be a choice so if old
people
 are treated right the whole
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 will be strong and a sense of justice will be within every
perons
Correct your spelling
persons
person
person's
 mind
Submitted by lana.a.amro on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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