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Band 5.5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from Prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #prison
Some recent facts have shown that those
people
 who had just finished their sentence in
prison
 are more likely to conduct other crimes right after they return to
society
.
Such
 result is contributed by some reasons which will be elaborated below.
First
 off, as we might have known that those who just entered the
prison
 will be put with other
criminals
. As most of their time in
prison
 will be spent with other
criminals
,
then
such
 a negative environment may nurture their criminal minds and behaviour.
For instance
, a new
person
 who enters the
prison
 because of hate speech
in
Change preposition
on
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 social media is put with killers in the cell. As the consequence, that new
person
 may learn the technique of how to kill
people
. When
such
 a
person
 returns to
society
, he or she may kill those who mock him or her on social media.
Secondly
,
society
 puts
Add an article
a
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negative
label
Fix the agreement mistake
labels
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 on those who have finished their punishment in
prison
. Those
criminals
 tend to have limited access and opportunity to live well and positively in
society
.
For example
, most of the recruitment requirement standard of the company requires the applicant to have never conducted any kind of crimes. These restrictions limit their opportunity to have a decent job. As the result, they have no option other than
becoming
Change the verb form
to become
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 thieves, so they can feed themselves.
Thirdly
, most of those ex-
criminals
 are mostly lack sufficient hard
skills
 and soft
skills
. Without any decent
skills
then
 they will not be accepted in most of the companies. Without a job they have no money to survive,
therefore
, they have to do crimes,
such
 as steal or rob from
people
 or banks in order to stay alive from day
to day
Correct your spelling
today
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. Based on the factors aforementioned and considering
prison
 has the responsibility to re-create a new
person
 before return to
society
,
then
 my suggestion is the
prison
 has to review, evaluate and revise their system. They have to change their concept from punishing
people
 to educate
people
. So, those
criminals
 can learn soft
skills
 and hard
skills
 in
prison
. After they return to
society
, the ex-
criminals
 can use their
skills
 to become entrepreneurs or to support private companies. Regardless, the government is
also
 responsible to create a policy to force the companies to accept those ex-
criminals
.
Submitted by fransxaverius008 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
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