*Many people are involved in sports when they are young but stop once they are adults*. *Why do many adults stop doing physical exercise?* *What can be done about this problem?

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The physical
Correct article usage
Physical
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a prominent role in everyone's life ,without considering
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group.A certain group of persons
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
indulged in sports events during their adolescence ,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
physical exercise got
diminished
Wrong verb form
diminishes
show examples
after entering
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adulthood age. In my view,lifestyle is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
factor in
such
Linking Words
cases, the root causes are explained with
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
solutions are discussed ,
also
Linking Words
in
this
Linking Words
essay. To embark upon, mature individuals have more responsibilities towards family and work station.
Due to
Linking Words
hectic schedules,they have more priorities towards their livelihood as well as earning name,fame ,and money during adulthood.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
multitasking
Correct article usage
the multitasking
show examples
nature, less leisure time is spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
recreational
activities
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working class
Add a hyphen
working-class
show examples
people.For Instance, in
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
survey by
USA
Correct article usage
a USA
show examples
agency, only 45%
adults
Change preposition
of adults
show examples
spent one
Use synonyms
hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
show examples
in
physical
Add an article
a physical
show examples
workout during weekdays.
Hence
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
high load at work offices made them to
stuck
Change the verb
stick
show examples
there till
mid-night
Correct your spelling
midnight
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the working
hours
Use synonyms
should be fixed by
government
Use synonyms
officers in every sector as well as free time for physical exercise ought to be provided at
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
such
Linking Words
as Google company provides free gym for their employees at wee
hours
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,some health awareness programmes must be
orgained
Correct your spelling
organised
by municipal corporations
as well as
Linking Words
providing free
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
and
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
to every park within
vicinity
Correct article usage
the vicinity
show examples
of their
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
,to motivate them to participate in events during
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time.
For instance
Linking Words
, Demark is
happiest
Add an article
the happiest
show examples
country in
Add an article
the
show examples
globe,due fixed number of working
hours
Use synonyms
protocol,stringently applied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
government
Use synonyms
agencies.Here,
government
Use synonyms
policy plays a paramount role
to engage
Change preposition
in engaging
show examples
adults in recreational
activities
Use synonyms
. To recapitulate, sports events can be participated with adults by providing them
some
Add the preposition
with some
show examples
liberty from
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
and
family’s
Change noun form
family
show examples
accountabilities . The
government
Use synonyms
agencies should ameliorate
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
for better upliftment and participation of senior citizens in recreational
activities
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vinitajnv on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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