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Band 5.5

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens' health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #citizens #health #environment
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over whether it is essential for authorities to prioritise allocating money
on
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to
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 medical
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 for inhabitants’ health
instead
 of preserving the surrounding. In my opinion, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both
these
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of these
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 mentioned ideas. Without a shadow of a doubt, covering the cost of healthcare is of paramount significance on the ground that they are backbone industries for any nation in the world. Using the state’s money for the citizens to enjoy services from top-notch hospitals will create
a
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apply
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healthy personnel, which will make the economy of the nation thrive significantly.
For instance
, the German governor covers the medical cost for people in the form of social insurance to increase the quality of the
labor
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labour
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 workforce. It has made Germany become one of the most developed countries all around the world.
Therefore
, the healthcare field should be supported financially by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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government’s
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government
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fund
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funds
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.
While
 the importance of funding for the medical service of authorities is widely acknowledged, conserving the environment
also
 needs to be paid for by the governors. Deterioration in environmental quality is an urgent problem that needs to be taken care of by the states. There are a wealth of contaminations, ranging from air, soil,
water
Correct word choice
and water
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 to sound pollution, which
do
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does
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 great damage to human physical health.
As a result
, alleviating environmental problems can enhance the well-being of humans.
For instance
, Croatia has devoted 1.5% of its GDP ,which is the highest expenditure for environmental problems in Europe, to deal with the surrounding troubles.
Hence
, it is pivotal for the governors to squander money
into
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on
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 environmental conservation. In conclusion,
while
 the importance of investing
into
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in
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 the healthcare system is widely accepted,
environment
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environmental
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 protection should be considered a substantial part of the national budget.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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