Childhood obesity is a growing public health crisis. In your opinion, what are the reasons for this and what can be done to tackle this issue?

One of the most severe issues regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
health well-being of people is overweight in children. The main reason for
this
is that there is a sharp rise in consuming high-calorie fast foods and a viable solution to solve the existing problem is to set age restrictions to buy unhealthy products. There is no doubt that
income
Correct article usage
the income
show examples
of
junk
Correct article usage
the junk
show examples
food market is increasing significantly thanks to high demand from consumers.
However
, children tend to gain weight and struggle with obesity
as a result
of improper nutrition. According to popularity ratings, these kinds of easy-prepared foods are cheaper compared to other healthy ones, and more accessible having millions of transnational companies over the world.
For instance
, I used to eat burgers as
s
Add an article
an s
show examples
dinner meal, and changed healthy tea with cold soda, because they seem to have a low cost and better taste to me.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the end, I faced serious health problems with my stomach and blood circulation. Government should take responsibility in order to deal with these challenges. Authority has to ban fast food places working illegal and make
such
foods available only for people over 16. In cases when people do not follow the given rules, they must be punished and fined according to
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
. By regulating the system based on age characteristics, issues with fat and health diseases can be alleviated properly. In conclusion, junk food consumption is a cause why childhood obesity problems arise and it can be prevented by putting age limits to purchase. I would certainly obey
this
law if it was introduced in my region.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: