IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Allowing young children to do an enjoyable activity can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

#children #activity #skills #creativity
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Whether or not young
people
Use synonyms
 should better
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
stay in the playful atmosphere to develop their imagination rather than reading a stack of books. While many parents
agrees
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with letting children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
stay in
joyful
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the joyful
show examples
 environment
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
strengthen
Change the verb form
strengthening
show examples
 their mental and physical abilities, others
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 since it was waste of time and nothing can guarantee that doing
this
Linking Words
 going to suit
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their kid.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the former and provides possible reasons to support
this
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 point of view. A fundamental reason for
this
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 is that the nature of
children
Add a verb
arechildren
werechildren
show examples
 mostly pleasant when they spent their time with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things challenging, fun, and with a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 as well as friends. It is generally accepted that driving by happiness can bring all the success come closer since doing something boring as reading was
inchallenge
Correct your spelling
in challenge
challenge
 and easily to fatigue. To be more explicit,
some
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in some
show examples
subject
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subjects
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such
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 as science: it was massively better for
Add an article
the learner
a learner
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learner
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learners
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 to experiment with the real substances that can
be prove
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be proved
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 and effortless to start a hypothesis.
This
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 mentioned sort can be related with improving creativity ability of
younster
Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
 that enjoyed
practicle
Correct your spelling
practical
practice
 moment made them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn to
asking
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ask
show examples
; what, where, when, and why.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, while some
guardian
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guardians
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do
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does
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 not want to take a risk by sacrificing their precious time to spent with nonsense things as doing something really fun but gaining just creative
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 so they expected academic knowledge, there were still tremendously of
people
Use synonyms
 who did not agree with the latter since they thought it might be more stressed for the young kids that be
Add an article
a force
show examples
force
Change the form of the verb
forced
show examples
 to read without knowing any reason of why they need to read and if the book they read was reliable, sensible, and accurate or not.
In contrast
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, the one who
learning
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learns
show examples
 from positivity job was boarding in
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
, experiences, and talents even though
large
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a large
the large
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 thought these were unproductive if compared with
concentrate
Add an article
a concentrate
the concentrate
show examples
 on reading but what they received were tripled. In conclusion, studying with happiness, challenge, and experience
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 more important than just focusing on academic knowledge which sometimes did not clarify an answer specific enough so that experimentation and
practicing
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practising
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 were important and highly helped
rasing
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to rase
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 the
confident
Replace the word
confidence
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 and
creativity
Replace the word
creative
show examples
 abilities.
Submitted by chansatid on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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