People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who often change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #career #path #lives #life #change #jobs

Nowadays, many persons believe that

people

who choose a job early and insist are possibly to obtain a more satisfying

career

life than others who

change

jobs

frequently. From my standpoint, I side with the opponents to a large extent.

People

who choose

jobs

early and keep to

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

may not feel more

satisfying

Replace the word

satisfied

show examples

than those who

change

jobs

frequently. To be specific, individuals who often

change

jobs

are easier to find appropriate works which may

also

have a dense salary.

For example

, persons could try to

experience

various

jobs

until they

finally

find a job they love.

Besides

people

understand the salary system after they have quit

jobs

, which means they know the exact wage are commensurate with their talent or ability, so these kinds of

people

may be pleasured by their

jobs

Besides

people

who

change

jobs

frequently have more

experience

in the various fields which cultivate persons as the compound talent.

For example

people

who often

change

works may use other points to fix problems from the work. These types of mindsets may be gained from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jobs

. These previous

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

from other fields could benefit employees as an advantage, so staff may have a

satisfied

Replace the word

satisfying

show examples

career

On the other hand

people

, who decide on a job early and do not consider changing, will be satisfied

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

jobs

. If a person

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has entered a field

Correct your spelling

show examples

early

Correct article usage

an early

show examples

time, he or she could get a promotion pretty early too. It is a benefit which compares with the person who often

change

Change the verb form

changes

show examples

their

jobs

. Because the person

choose

Change the verb form

chooses

show examples

jobs

early

also

could reach a higher working goal in

stage, and to obtain a higher wage either. In conclusion,

people

who

change

their

jobs

frequently may have a perfect

career

life. They

experience

many fields of

jobs

, so they could know which

jobs

are their favour. I insist

Change preposition

on my

show examples

point that

people

who decide on a

career

path early in their lives and keep it are more satisfying than

people

who choose often changing their

jobs

Submitted by fanganqi79 on Tue Oct 12 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

career path
job satisfaction
professional goals
climb the career ladder
develop expertise
long-term commitment
financial security
varied experiences
prevent monotony
job security
career progression
personal preferences
industry dynamics

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People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who often change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the radio is the best way to get new while others believe that TV is better for this purpose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.