Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

In the age of industrialization and modernization, the demand for workers is increasing dramatically,

as a result

, more and more youngsters are now working when they are in the university, and even high school. Many people think that it is advantageous to do so, while the others oppose to it. In my opinion, the advantages completely go beyond the disadvantages.

First

of all, your income is a huge support to your family's finance. You can earn at least 1-2 dollars when having some part-time jobs like: bartenders, customer services, etc. You no longer have to ask your parents to pay for your favourite hobbies,

such

as: going out with your friends, buy a shoe, or even go on a tour by yourself.

Second

, being in a real working environment gives you valuable experience. You will know how to use the theories that you learnt in the university in solving the problems. You will learn to worthy skills like time-management, team-working, and how to be progressive, to be productive and a lot. Working is

also

a school,

however

, it equips you with lessons that never can be learnt from any other schools.

Last

but not least, spending time on working means less time waste on other nonsense activities.

Instead

of lying down, sticking your eyes into the screen and scrolling the Facebook or Tiktok, you have to think about how to complete the assignments before the deadline right ahead, how to get on well with your bosses and colleagues. It will absolutely help you a lot. In the other hand, doing paid work can bring about some difficulties. After a tiring working day, your only wish is to lye down and take a nap.

Nevertheless

, it can make your studying results alarmingly bad, which results in even more stress. A lot of students used to be in that situation, they can not manage their jobs, and their classes as well. In conclusion, as long as you are determined enough and have a

such

a well-arranged plan that does not let working have a negative impact on your study, being an employee is beneficial for not only yourself but

also

your future.

Submitted by minhneuforworks on Tue Oct 12 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

360 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

beneficial
harmful
advantages
disadvantages
financial independence
responsibility
valuable skills
impact
education
exploitation
negative effects
social life

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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

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Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use Of use of energy (for example electricity, gas). Thus some companies Cole for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school.do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantage?