Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Opinions are divided as to whether the advancement of technology used for monitoring purposes is more beneficial than drawbacks. Despite the fact that there are some disadvantages. I believe that it brings about much more benefits. There are some reasons why I firmly think that it is more advantageous.

Firstly

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, a variety of technological devices can be used for surveillance, especially many useful security cameras which have been utilized to detect thefts and robbers.

For instance

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, The Amazon company has been using

this

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technological appliance to monitor everyone's actions, It not only creates a sense of safety for the customers but

also

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being able to manage their stocks and sales effectively.

Secondly

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, throughout the world, the authorities provide mobile

trackings

Fix the agreement mistake

tracking

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for various police

offices

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officers

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since it can help policemen to trace offenders easily and make society more peaceful.

However

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, it does not mean that there is no negative effect on humanity. It is undeniable that advanced technology is becoming an influence and

take

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taking

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our privacy away from the way it used to be.

Due to

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the development of digital appliances

such

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as some application trackings which can be used to hank other people's addresses, just knowing

Correct article usage

the ID

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or Password of others.

For example

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, lots of households have brought

the

Correct article usage

apply

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security cameras

attaching

Wrong verb form

attached

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to their children's bedrooms to monitor them,

although

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parents can help their kids in

the

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emergency time when they are in need, many teenagers

are lacking

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lack

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privacy

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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could lead to

behave

Wrong verb form

behaving

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aggressively

due to

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being too much intimidated unconsciously. In conclusion, I can understand why

this

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technology could be negative for people, but it seems to me that its benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

PreawlinzTue Oct 12 2021

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the main topic and thesis statement. Work on organizing ideas and using cohesive devices to make the argument easier to follow.

task achievement

Expand on the points made in the body paragraphs to provide a more comprehensive response to the question. Make sure to address both the advantages and disadvantages of technology used for monitoring purposes.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Surveillance
2. Monitoring
3. Cell phone tracking
4. Security cameras
5. Public safety
6. Law enforcement
7. Privacy concerns
8. Personal freedom
9. Autonomous
10. Breach of trust
11. Misuse of information
12. Institutional integrity
13. Psychological impact
14. Mental well-being
15. Societal trust
16. Paranoia
17. Transparency
18. Stringent regulations
19. Criminal deterrence
20. Apprehension of criminals

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