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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Some argue that scientific
research
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 should be under the full control of
government
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 authorities.
While
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 governments indeed have to play a critical role in technological development, I believe that cooperation between
government
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 and private funds could better serve the purpose. There are various reasons why people believe that scientific
research
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 should be controlled by governments.
Firstly
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, scientific
research
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,
due to
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 its distinct
feature
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features
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, requires tremendous effort, time and money. It is assumed that only the
government
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, with the well-being of the whole society
bear
Verb problem
apply
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in mind, could invest in these projects continuously and will not sacrifice the long-term goal for a temporary financial gain.
Secondly
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, some scientific projects, if left unregulated, are likely to cause some social or ethical controversies, and
thus
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 compromise the value of the society.
For example
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, genetic editing has led to plenty of disputes and is currently under
government
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 regulation.
Finally
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, part of the
research
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 funding comes from tax revenue, on
this
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 account, people want their tax money spent under the scrutiny of
government
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 authorities.
However
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, as long as these scientific projects are led by the
government
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, I believe the participation of private companies will definitely contribute to the ultimate goal. The main reason is that
government
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 officials are no experts in either the scientific or business sector,
while
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 since private funds are profit-driven, they are more specialized in the commercialization of scientific results. With real economic gains generated by
those
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this
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research
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, relevant personnel could feel more motivated to carry out
further
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 study.
Furthermore
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,
government
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 officials sometimes are shorthanded and lack efficiency. Without
such
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 collaboration, they could easily be overwhelmed by massive work and communication. In conclusion, I believe that scientific
research
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 could be better carried out and commercialized with the collaboration of the
government
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 and private companies, provided they can be strictly regulated by officials.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more transitional phrases to link ideas within paragraphs and between them. For instance, phrases like 'Additionally,' or 'Moreover,' can be helpful.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to further strengthen your main points. For example, you could provide more detail about how private companies have successfully commercialized scientific research in the past.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The response is comprehensive, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
task achievement
Well-articulated and clear ideas are expressed throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • government oversight
  • ethical guidelines
  • public interest
  • public funding
  • transparency
  • widespread access
  • long-term societal benefits
  • profit motive
  • biased findings
  • restricted research
  • collaboration
  • bureaucratic delays
  • political influence
  • innovation
  • regulations
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