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Band 3.5

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #technology #man
The use of
technology
 is becoming increasingly popular in the world. There is a debate between
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
, some of them believe that
one
advantages
Change to a singular noun
advantage
show examples
of
technology
arehelping
Correct your spelling
are helping
men
 to be more social. I completely disagree with
this
 statement. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss why I think
technology
 leads people to be less social.
To begin
 with,
technology
 has a lot of benefits, but
one
 of the most side effects is leading
men
 to be less social. machinery
such
 as iPod, iPhone and laptops decrease the
face
Replace the word
facial
show examples
 interaction between
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
show examples
, so
instead
 of gathering and talking, they will use different applications to chat or send a message.
For example
,
Add an article
the nation
show examples
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 used to meet at clubs watching the match together and having dinner, but ,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 they stare at the phones for hours.
In addition
, online applications, In the past public used to negotiate,
for instance
,in Saudi Arabia
men
 used to wake up on Friday went to Green House market, so the customers and sellers negotiate about the products.
However
, after the spread of
technology
, society using the internet to buy, and don't care like before. To summarise, machinery is
one
 of the most useful inventions, while
one
 of its negative effects is
men
 are not very sociable.
Submitted by fatmahaleesa on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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