IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that
to protect
Change the verb form
protecting
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
depends on each person responsibility, while some think it depends on the
government
Use synonyms
. I agree with the latter view. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
 responsibility to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 because those
people
Use synonyms
 believe that even the
government
Use synonyms
 force
people
Use synonyms
 to take care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
, it is not going to work quite well if most
people
Use synonyms
 not cooperated.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to solve the environmental problems they believe that
people
Use synonyms
 need to create more awareness about
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 since young.
For example
Linking Words
, children need to be taught about how to categorize the rubbish before
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
 it
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 trash can, some children may need to be aware
where
Change preposition
of where
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 they can throw the rubbish
to
Change preposition
apply
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, obviously not
on
Change preposition
in
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 the middle of the street.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may say that we,
as
Replace the word
like
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people
Use synonyms
, have to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electrical energy as low as possible, as to create electricity, it produced air pollution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 consider that it is the
government
Use synonyms
's primary responsibility to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and I agree. One of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 is
because
Replace the word
that
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, in many countries, including Thailand, there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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campaigns that encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to be more aware of environmental issues,
however
Linking Words
, the results of those
compaigns
Correct your spelling
campaigns
 are not desirable. In my opinion, it is almost impossible to hope that everyone going to be more aware if there are no rules for them to follow, and
that is
Linking Words
 where the
government
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role. The
government
Use synonyms
 needs to enforce the law more strictly,
for example
Linking Words
, if we found somebody threw the rubbish on the street we can tell the police and that person will have to pay
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 certain amount of money, and
people
Use synonyms
 who tell the police may get some parts of that money as well. I believe that if the laws are better enforced, it will reflect
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to be better at taking care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe that the
govermant
Correct your spelling
government
 is the key to solve
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems because they can enforce the law more strictly rather than just begging
people
Use synonyms
 to be more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Individual responsibility
  • Community involvement
  • Personal accountability
  • Governmental intervention
  • Environmental protection
  • Recycling
  • Public transport
  • Conserving resources
  • Spreading awareness
  • CO2 emissions restrictions
  • Waste management protocols
  • Renewable energy
  • Enact and enforce regulations
  • Incentivize individual action
  • Frameworks
What to do next:
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