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Band 4.5

Being involved in the arts makes people feel better. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#arts #people
Engagement in the
arts
 can
resque
Correct your spelling
rescue
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
sustain mental and physical well-being. I absolutely agree with
this
 statement and I think it should be promoted
people
 to do some activities related to the
arts
. According to
vast
Add an article
the vast
show examples
 majority of studies, if
people
 start to do something linked to
art
, their emotional and physical condition enhances and even it can help to cope with health problems. In
condition
Add an article
the condition
a condition
show examples
 of self-isolation due to the pandemic situation, the
cases
Correct your spelling
causes
show examples
 of mental diseases increased
thus
 these days
people
 find methods
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 help them to struggle with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress and
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
anxiety.
For example
, when
people
enhage
Correct your spelling
engage
 in painting, the level of hormone of stress
such
 as cortisol decreased while the level of feel-good hormone which is called serotonin increased in
blood
Add an article
the blood
show examples
.
In addition
, the
arts
 contribute evidence-based
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 which even can improve physical health. Different types of
art
 help neurological patients with motor disturbances to lessen their symptoms.
Moreover
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease is lower among
people
 who have hobbies like painting, knitting and others.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the
arts
 help
people
 to develop their creativity which is
neaded
Correct your spelling
needed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 solve problems in different areas.
Though
Correct your spelling
Through
show examples
 creativity, everybody can express emotions and develop mindfulness
that is
 effective for managing mental health. To sum up, I am absolutely convinced that
art
 is vital for emotional and physical conditions.
Everyone
Replace the word
Every one
show examples
 should find suitable
art
 activity which
migh
Correct your spelling
might
 improve their lives.
Submitted by paramoshka24 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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