For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, Schooling age plays a crucial role in the growth of children. While some people claim that

Parents

Use synonyms

still impact young students more than their educationists. I strongly oppose

this

Linking Words

judgment due to the volume of time that schoolteachers contact kids as well as their educational methods. For juvenile’s intelligence, the long connection between lecturer and pupil enables adults to seek the way to educate youth. Obviously, educators who

has

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have

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witnessed the growth of countless student generations,

thus

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, would have accurate evaluation among those.

In addition

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, the lecturer must undergo hazard training as an expert in translating knowledge and awareness for their junior that

parents

Use synonyms

can not experience. For

this

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reason, the lecturer will have

such

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correct methods to guide learners in reading books or solve the puzzle in order to stimulate their brain. In terms of the development of social skills in kids, the lecturers

also

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make their effect evidently in

this

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important moment of the youngster. It is noteworthy that schoolteachers are people who spend more time on conducting learners in most curriculums at school than their

parents

Use synonyms

As a result

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, juveniles learn how to tackle those actual cases under educators' guides.

Moreover

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, school-children have opportunities to contact loads of friends with diverse characteristics.

This

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environment is not only too harsh but

also

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enough kinds of situation suiting for teenager owing to educate them.

For example

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, in Vietnam, it is seen that many tutors encourage the shy pupils to present among a crowd of friends to help them be more confident which is hard for

parents

Use synonyms

to accomplish. In conclusion,

those

Correct determiner usage

the

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above-mentioned

evidences

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evidence

pieces of evidence

shreds of evidence

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support me to believe that kids are influenced by their teachers more than their adults.

Therefore

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, educationists should be trained carefully to promote the schoolers’ growth effectively.

tranthuhien20395Wed Oct 13 2021

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. what are Causes and Solutions for this problem?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as the older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say local authorities should allow people to build houses in the style of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? (plural, plural)