IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negative impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#believe #show #films #impact #culture
In the contemporary era, western films popularities are rising speedily in many countries around the globe, it is often argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 motion pictures have some negative development on
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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nation traditions and norms. While, others believe that, it
have
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has
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 positive progress on society. In, the forthcoming essay, I will explain both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of
this
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
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 and
also
 give my own view.
To begin
 with, the predominant reason to favour
this
 statement is that, watching other countries pictures like, English movies, have educational value, which
assist
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assists
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 people to improves their listing, reading and writing skills.
For example
, the British
government run
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government-run
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 a survey on migrated students about learning languages, they found 90%
pupils
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of pupils
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 claim that
,
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apply
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 they learn it from movies.
In addition
, a community can
generates
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generate
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 information about other states
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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.
As a result
, when they visit in
foreign
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a foreign
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 land , they cannot face any cultural shock.
However
,
on the other hand
, moving pictures exaggerate everything
as well as those features
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, as well as those features,
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 are so lively and vibrant which can grab
attention
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the attention
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 of their viewers compare to local films
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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 dull and dry , there
is
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are
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 no artificial effects.
For instance
, in Bangladesh almost every cinema hall are going to off
thus
, folks like to watch foreign talkies.
As a result
, we
loss
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lose
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 money and
also
 there is no scope to showing own traditions information of the world. To conclude, in my opinion,
although
, movies
is
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are
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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 popular entertainment
media
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medium
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but
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apply
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we cannot deny
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 drawbacks. It is
also
 true that
,
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apply
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 from foreign people learn so many things.
Submitted by mahmuduts on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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