IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negative impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#believe #show #films #impact #culture
In the contemporary era, western films popularities are rising speedily in many countries around the globe, it is often argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 motion pictures have some negative development on
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
nation traditions and norms. While, others believe that, it
have
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has
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 positive progress on society. In, the forthcoming essay, I will explain both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of
this
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
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 and
also
 give my own view.
To begin
 with, the predominant reason to favour
this
 statement is that, watching other countries pictures like, English movies, have educational value, which
assist
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assists
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 people to improves their listing, reading and writing skills.
For example
, the British
government run
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government-run
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 a survey on migrated students about learning languages, they found 90%
pupils
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of pupils
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 claim that
,
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apply
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 they learn it from movies.
In addition
, a community can
generates
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generate
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 information about other states
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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.
As a result
, when they visit in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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 land , they cannot face any cultural shock.
However
,
on the other hand
, moving pictures exaggerate everything
as well as those features
Add the comma(s)
, as well as those features,
show examples
 are so lively and vibrant which can grab
attention
Add an article
the attention
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 of their viewers compare to local films
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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 dull and dry , there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 no artificial effects.
For instance
, in Bangladesh almost every cinema hall are going to off
thus
, folks like to watch foreign talkies.
As a result
, we
loss
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lose
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 money and
also
 there is no scope to showing own traditions information of the world. To conclude, in my opinion,
although
, movies
is
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are
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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 popular entertainment
media
Fix the agreement mistake
medium
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but
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apply
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we cannot deny
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 drawbacks. It is
also
 true that
,
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apply
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 from foreign people learn so many things.
Submitted by mahmuduts on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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